A pretty common narrative in stories of male misbehavior is that the woman is told to keep it quiet because “do you want to ruin his career? do you want to break up his family?” This is apparently a very effective (and very messed up) way to take some of the best parts of socialized femininity (empathy, concern for community) and warp them into something harmful, which is my least favorite kind of con.
But also it draws my attention to how much of a vengeance demon I am at heart, because yes absolutely I want to ruin his career and break up his family. That’s exactly what I want—it sounds great. I’ve never been sexually assaulted and I’ve never met this guy, but I am basically a tornado in human form. If you’re reading this, I have probably considered breaking up your family and ruining your career at least once and probably right now. I think about doing it to my own self, even. I might actually be one of the Furies.