Category: Fake News

Portland’s Neo Nazis

On the Media has a good interview with Wilamette Week repoter Corey Pein, one of the only journalists (maybe the only journalist) to have interviewed the Portland train stabber before the stabbing (interivews at right-wing demonstrations). He contextualizes the white power movement in Portland, a power center for skinheads dating back to at least the 90s (you may recall if you recently watched Green Room), the KKK before that, and the Oregon territory’s “whites only” status.

Pein describes the attacker as an avowed Nazi eager to commit violence against people of color and antifa activists — a man who had Vinlander tattoos, participated in skinhead forums, and spoke openly about being radicalized in prison. In other words, not a Bernie bro gone bad. He did root for Bernie because of an explicit desire to kill Hillary Clinton, but also presumably wanted to kill Bernie, since he hoped that all Jews (and the wrong sort of Christians) would be sent to the gas chambers. (Not an ironic Nazi. A Nazi.)

The whole interview is worth a listen. It’s 12 minutes.

Angela and Hillary, Sitting in a Tree

Normally, I say “look beyond the personalities; look at the issues,” but given Trump’s instinctual style, this newly invented feud with Germany looks an awful lot like an attempt to go after Angela Merkel—an experienced female political centrist with a global outlook who sometimes wears a familiar-looking blue pantsuit. I think there’s some misogynist transferrence going on, and I don’t think it’s mine.

Would not be surprised if Trump starts saying “crooked Germany” out of nostalgia.

By the way, you’ve probably missed this (well done, you), but the idea that Hillary and Angela are lesbian lovers running a sinister liberal conspiracy has been much explored by both Breitbart and Russian propaganda mills (explicit propaganda, not state-run news) over the last few years, so I’m guessing that will turn up again, too. Because women can’t be friends, or admire each other, apparently. Women and men can’t be friends, but also women can’t be friends. Too catty. Lock them in towers is what I say.

Image may contain: 2 people, people standing

Maria says: For reals. He’s got a beef with women in power. Let’s not forget his bizarre reception of Merkel after his inauguration. Nevermind that she’s held her tongue about him for four months. He’s made it clear that our U.S. allies are his enemies.

Rebecca says: Jesus Howard Christ. The same Breitbart that claimed Colbert was being homophobic? You don’t get to have it both ways.

Rosi says: Yep, and powerful women are always lesbians… *eye roll*

Maria: I’d tap that.

Romie: Yeah, it is kind of a lovely idea. I hate Breitbart both for sexualizing something that’s not sexual, AND for assuming I’d be upset by such a couple, when holy cow. I dream of being an Angela Merkel in a romantic relationship with a Hillary Clinton.

Jeff says: Angela Merkel earned a doctorate in physical chemistry, one of the most difficult subjects to understand. She’s brilliant, and insecure men sadly often have a problem with brilliant women.

Deja Vu: Avocado Toast and Seth Rich

Jeff says: Thanks! I was going to flip by Fox yesterday to see exactly which “kitten stuck in a tree” story they’d be covering all day. Also, $19 in 2017 was $6.40 in 1980, and everyone spent that on an indulgence back then. I’m just not getting the hate on Millennials.

Ahistorical “River of Blood” Plaque at Trump National Golf Club

Not satire. This is from a 2015 issue of Golf Digest. Trump has a plaque at one of his golf courses commemorating a civil war battle that never happened, touting Trump’s generous patriotism for having preserved the land, on which no battle happened, which is now a golf course.


You can tell from the name that the battle was made up (“The River of Blood” has a real “American carnage” feel, right?), but a New York Times reporter asked a lot of Virginia historians and they could not come up with anything which Trump could be referencing or might be confused about.

I am a fan of alternate history and of prankishness. But I’m not a fan of this quote:

Trump, who is a leading Republican candidate for President, questioned how historians could dispute the battle. “How would they know,” he told the Times. “Were they there?”

Golf Digest‘s piece is condensing a New York Times report which is worth reading in full if you can get past the paywall. With classic Trumpiness, Trump claims lots of historians have told him the River of Blood happened, but he can’t remember their names, and also he didn’t talk to them directly, they told “his people” but also no he won’t say who his people are and don’t try to talk to them.

I really, really, really want a fictional historical plaque for my yard now, and maybe another one for my office. What should I fake commemorate? Any ideas?

Katie: Battles with space aliens? Mind-blowing sex acts? Matriarchal renaissances? Non-violent resistance against wtf’kery? Things that happened in your favorite books/movies/plays/songs? I’m thrilled at the prospect- let us know what you decide!

Romie: I am giving myself a three-month brainstorming window, and then I will move forward with commemoration of whatever it is. I will most definitely hold a somber unveiling ceremony with attendant press release.

Lauren: The Battle of the Fallen Comma

Sonya: “On this spot in 1786, Samuel Whittemore reached through time and punched a Tyrannosaur.”

Romie: “official state hero of Massachusetts” – sold

[My parents believe it should be tiny and memorialize a Revolutionary-era battle in which a guerilla fairy army drove off the lobsters.]