I’m laughing at this, but to be honest, if it happened in a game I was DMing, I’d be inclined to run with it. It’s maybe the thing I was born for. My little heart goes pitter pat.
Earlier this very day, I had The Talk with a friend who is thinking about running D&D campaign but is intimidated by the math – the “your mom has always been Santa Claus” talk, where I reveal the numbers don’t matter at all if you as the DM want things to go a different way. I mean, I have players roll dice, but that’s because dice rolling is fun. I already know what’s going to happen.