What Donald Trump Knows About Hacking

Show of hands, people who think Donald Trump knows a lot about hacking.


Show of hands, people who think Donald Trump owns every issue of 2600.


Jeff says: Show of hands, people who think Donald Trump used FTP to read Phrack


Show of hands, people who think Donald Trump sold highly-leveraged real estate to AIs who are setting up The Matrix right now.


Show of hands, people who are pretty sure Donald Trump has Zero Cool.


Show of hands, people who have figured out I’m less interested in what Donald Trump has to say than in rewatching Sneakers sometime this week.


If I think he would ruin my Excel spreadsheet just by touching it, and suspect he would reset my passwords to “123password,” does that make him a hacker?

Tommx says: He would reset your password to Donaldjtrumpthebest!

Romie: That would be a pretty strong password that nobody would guess for me.

Dan: To be honest, I think I would also ruin most Excel spreadsheets just by touching them.


Lauren says: Hack what? Hacking a tree, hacking computers, hacking up, being a hack job? He might know a thing or two about those last two, but I don’t think he knows diddly about those first two. Those require work. Trump doesn’t work.


Giacomo says: He is a champ in being a hack.


Somer says: I just about DIED when he said that vital matters should be sent by courier.

BY COURIER.

Wasn’t Bin Laden found because his courier got busted?

Romie: Yeah, but unlike Bin Laden, Trump knows a lot about hacking, and he’s pretty sure you can download things into Keanu Reeves’s head and/or an extremely secure dolphin.

 

Advertisements